Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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