I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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