Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
