I'm really into asian looking animals
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
