Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
