Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
God, I missed his penis.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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