Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize