She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize