I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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