I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
