just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want to make out with him forever
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize