He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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