Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
