dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
