I hope mine doesn't look like that
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This house was built for laser tag.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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