He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
