I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
