doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
