as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No stitches, just platelets and will power
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
