DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
