I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
