when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
