I want to stick my p in your. b.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
