Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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