just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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