Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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