I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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