I am puke
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
