i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize