Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
