Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
