my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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