idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
