So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize