I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
