It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
