I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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