There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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