one two three fourrrrnication!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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