whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
