btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I am morally bankrupt
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
