so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
