We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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