i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
