Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
