I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
