I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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