Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
