the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
