I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
