So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
