Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
