Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
