For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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