i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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