Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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