he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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