Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
