On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just google imaged poop.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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