i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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