i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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