Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
