What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize