you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
