My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
