His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize