I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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