I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
