Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
