weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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