I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
