If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My penis needs a shock collar
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
