Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
A bitchslap is in order.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
