does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
