I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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