Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
