i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
