I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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